If you've lost your faith in love and music

08 October 2007 @ 02:42 pm

Well, the habit of writing regularly on here didn't really take off like I hoped it would!

Not all bad though, since something of a 'writing mojo' is back once more and I'm splattering my random stuff on IC at the minute. Ok, so it's mostly Uni based waffling which I'm sure the masses find a bit on the dull side, but never mind.

Another 'outing' has taken place ever those parts, as I'm sure the people that read here will be aware of. And again, contemplations of removing pics and selective detail editing is in the mind. Admittedly 'student experiments sexually' isn't really the stuff of tabloid scandal, and the potential of outing is far more a worry than it actually ever happening, but it's still a concern. Dunno quite where my mind stands on it all yet.

Anyway, I won't do the rambling here that I've done elsewhere anyway, but I thought I'd stick SOMETHING up, to save all of this lovely space to write in going to total waste!

Current Music: Nothing, shockingly enough!

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10 September 2007 @ 12:47 pm

The last goodbye

Yesterday afternoon I got to spend with a bunch of people from work, for a meal/drinks type meetup.

Had a really good time of it truth be told, and swapped a couple more phone numbers and the like. Typically there was a person or two not there that said they would be, but this stuff happens. All of the people I was keen to say a 'proper' goodbye to that I'd asked were there though, which really nice. Typically I managed to forget to mention it to someone in all the stress of planning it (it wasn't sorted until my last day), and of course it just so happens to be the one person who'd take vocal offence at it, and is stubborn enough to basically tell me to piss off if I tried to apologise. No skin off my nose really, since I'll never see nor hear from him again anyway, but he is someone that I liked and would have liked to stay on good terms with despite that.

However, there are some people I won't get to say a proper goodbye to, namely 'the lasses' that I worked with and grew really quite close to. The sad fact is that I didn't even get the chance to ask two of them to turn up because of holidays and different shifts, while the third was asked but out of politeness, as sunday is her Weight Watchers day, and it's something that's really important to her (alongside the fact she helps out at the meetings). That said, I'm still in touch with the latter, and hoping that numbers have been passed on to the other two. They're the people I'm most likely to keep in touch with, and see if and when I reappear back in the north east.

So, aside from STILL waiting to hear from my union from work about paying my membership by direct debit while I'm away (which is a step I'm taking since it'll be encouraging in persuading them to give me money as a scholarship for the next three years!), that part of life is closed fairly nicely now. Ok, so technically I can go back in three years time, but being realistic that's not going to happen as anything more than a stop-gap, if that.

The big move is now 12 days away. The 'to-do' list is ever shrinking, and things are remarkably well organised so far, aside from waiting for a letter that's refusing to appear, but all I'm getting told is 'it was sent on such-and-such a date'. I'll give it til thursday, since even by Royal Mail standards it's more than long enough to make it through the system, then it's assertive phonecall time stressing that I need it asap.

Of course, there are other bits of life that are less calm and happy, but that's a whole other topic or two!

Phoenix

Current Mood:

calm

Current Music: Daphne Descends - The Smashing Pumpkins

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31 July 2007 @ 12:43 pm

Hooray for english doctors

Had a long overdue visit to the doctors today, to see about my asthma (and the fact it's been crap lately really!)

And there was a nice pleasant surprise in that my old doctor, an Indian blokey who whilst undoubtedly knowing his stuff, was very poor in actually communicating, and had little 'patient care' manner to him, has retired. His replacement? A nice english wifey, who it actually felt possible to engage in conversation with.

Anyway, the upshot of it all is that I have a new inhaler to take morning and night, ontop of what I already have, and if it doesn't help I should go back in a couple of weeks. Easy as pie really! That said, it means my 'regular' prescription will now be pushing £20.... The sooner I become an official student and get them for nothing, the better!

Phoenix

Current Mood:

happy

Current Music: Ben Kweller - How It Should Be (Sha Sha)

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28 July 2007 @ 01:21 pm

Updating

I'm feeling conscious of the fact I haven't really written here for a while, so here's a quick post. Despite pretty much the vast majority of the people who I expect to read it knowing it all anyway.....

Work

5 weeks to go. Career break thing is sorted out, albeit being a three year thing. Realistically, I'm not gonna go back then, and could well have to resign to be able to work next summer, but we'll see about that. Even if I'm not actively there, there might be a financial incentive for still technically being an emplyee, so I'll know what I need to before deciding anything. And that 5 weeks includes a bank holiday, and almost definitely more time on strike, not that I'm counting them down or anything!

College/Uni

Results appeared through the week. I ended up with the three distinctions that I was hoping for, and pretty much expecting. Even though I knew they were coming, it's made me feel strangely happy to have them in my hand, and there's a big surge of confidence because of it. I know that Uni will be a step up academically, but I feel as ready as I possibly can for it. As far as 'the big move' goes, I've started my shopping for the various bits & bobs I'll need to take with me... Home-ware type stuff, nothing massively interesting!

Family

Well, parts of it are as good as ever. The other parts are as strained as ever. It's a strange feeling to think that a couple of hundred miles of distance, and being busy enough not to be in regular contact (um, that's the idea anyway!), will hopefully do wonders for the relationship I share with my dad. My brother visited from Scotland for the first time in about 18 months too. It was nice to see him, in a 'I really hope it's just as long before it happens again' way. Yeah, I'm unappreciative, I know.

Personal life stuff

Here's where we skirt over things! Something was on the verge of happening with someone (or, more accurately, two someones). After spending time with them last weekend, and more specifically things said since, I ended up making a what feels like a scarily adult decision to back away from it. I don't think I can really qualify that here so well, in part because I'm still figuring it out in my usual eloquent (aka - long winded, introspective and rambly) way, but it's something that at the minute I'm just putting down to experience. The college news has helped big style to make me smile though

That feels about it really. I could twitter about the friends I miss, but I'd like to think they know. I could twitter about my lastest musical listenings, but I don't think anyone cares! There's always little bits of stuff that get shared in conversation, but they never really work so well on the written page like this. So that's that for now!

Phoenix

Current Mood:

calm

Current Music: I'm Calling - The Polyphonic Spree

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19 June 2007 @ 11:34 am

For a change....

I'm going to rabbit on about work!

Or, more specifically, this 'career break' stuff around Uni.

What I want to be able to do is take one from September til June, go back for the summer, go away again, come back.. and so on to cover my three years out. Basically to give me a job to come back to which is good money for what it is, to see the people I know there, and to not have to end up hunting about for something for the sake of a couple of months.

As expected, my initial application for it has been turned down. Because they don't want 'extra' staff in over the summer since it's the quiet period of the year; indeed they will apparently be asking people to move holidays to take them over that period. It's logic I can understand, and I admit that if I was the one in charge I wouldn't be letting me do it. But I'm stubborn enough to kick up a bit of a stink about it, which will start with an official appeal on that decision.

Plan B would be to apply for a full three year thing, which would be granted without them even having to think about it, and then see about finding other work through the summer period. Although this in itself would likely cause problems, but I'll look more at that if this is what ends up happening.

However, there is an alternative. Leave.

In the four years I've been there, I'd say that the place has got progressively worse. Discrimination against certain staff members (specifically, in my case, part time workers), areas not being staffed properly, morale getting worse and worse.

The saving grace is that in my little team I've made some really really good friends who I'll keep in touch with when I do go, and I get to go in and have a good time with these people every single day. And, I admit, I quite like the pressure of working where I do - the last port of call in a building that has to meet strict deadlines every single day.

No real point to this, just fancied a bit of a ramble!

Phoenix

Current Mood:

hungry

Current Music: It's So Easy - Guns N' Roses

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08 June 2007 @ 01:04 am

Refreshing

Normally when I'm off work, especially for the two week break that appears once a year (the joys of a system of allocated leave), there's a tendancy to be one of those somewhat annoying people who is bored by the first weekend is out the way, and is itching to go back almost straight away.

Well, for some reason, not this time!

Already the time I've had off feels like a very long break indeed, and I've still got until next wednesday until the returning to work actually happens. And most of that time I'll be doing actual 'things' too, which is a bonus! Ok, so I've spent much of the last two weeks preparing for the exams I did on tuesday and wednesday (by preparing, I mean doing moreso mentally than any actual revising. I did bits, but nowhere near my intentions!), but I'll be going so far as to be doing travelling and whatnot.

Saturday is seeing an afternoon being spent in York meeting someone in person for the first time. One way or another I think that'll be mentioned in future times!

Then next week, from monday until wednesday morning, I'm heading down to my future Uni venue Nottingham to spend a couple of days with a really good friend. It'll be nice to hang out and have the lovely kind of random chatter that happens. Truth be told though, I'm a little concerned for them. Around a month or so ago they were involved in a car accident as a passenger. Nothing serious, her and her partner both walked away from it, but from what I know both her back and her head aren't exactly wonderful since. There'll be nagging if I think she's pushing herself for my sake, so I'll be armed with DVDs just incase.

And then, coming home on wednesday to head straight to work from the train station. To hopefully find out if my career break thing has been granted, and to no doubt hear more about the strike stuff, which I heard on the news today has apparently been voted for. Strange times!

Late night ramble, and it possibly won't help me sleep, but hey, what's this space for if not this?

Phoenix

Current Mood:

tired

Current Music: Jack The Ripper - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

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29 May 2007 @ 07:27 pm

Lazy days

Over two weeks of them, in fact.

With the end of college, and two weeks and two days off work, it's a very nice chance to kick back and do next to nothing. And for 4 days in a row I've pretty much done that. And now, of course, I'm bored.

Ok, that's not strictly true. I've done a bit of revision for next week, I've actually managed to sleep well for three consecutive nights, I've watched thr first half of The Hogfather, had some very nice chatter online and I've got a photo taken for my Uni ID card.

The latter sounds nice and simple you might think.. Well, you'd think wrongly. Toddle of to a local photo place that does them, because it needed to be a digital passport photo on a computer, because for some reason they ONLY take online submissions, which is arsey. Anyway, went there, and told them what I needed. And of course, I couldn't do it. Printed photos? Fine, no problem, wonderful. But wanting them on a disk? No.. Apparently I could take my own memory card in, and IF it was compatible with their camera they could swap them over, take it, and I could then use their machines to put it on a CD (ignoring the fact that if it was on my memory card I could just put it on my PC, but they couldn't charge a fiver for that). Of course, they couldn't let me do that with their own memory card their and then. The only thing they couldn't tell me is why not.

But seeing that the photo would be taken in the middle of a shop in front of a plain background, I decided to say 'sod it', and improvised. So I ended up back home, in the room with the best facing light, which typically ended up being in the toilet. Camera on tripod, sat ontop of the lid of the toilet, as I stood back against the nice, neutral beige door. Pic taken, edited to size, and sorted. And for no cost too, so balls to them!

If tomorrow brings such hijinks I don't know how I'll survive it!

Phoenix

Current Mood:

accomplished

Current Music: Olympian - Gene

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21 May 2007 @ 02:14 pm

Family funtime!

Yesterday saw my dad's birthday, and a meal out at a local pub with him, his wife (living the wicked step-mother stereotype to perfection) and my grandmother.

The food was crap, but that's an aside really.

For what is the umpteenth time, there was uni related conversation. And by conversation, I mean 'Why do you even want to do it?', 'What do you want to do?... What do you mean you don't know, you don't want to waste three years', and 'So you'll be a social worker then?'

The last one in particular is a point of annoyance, because it's asked EVERY SINGLE TIME I see them. And every single time I answer that A) I'm not interested in doing social work. At all. and B) Sociology has NOTHING TO DO WITH IT ANYWAY FFS, aside from starting with the same 4 letters. Then talk moved onto things I might need when I go.

The initial answer of 'I'll get a contents list for the room through the post, I'll let you know then' was met with 'Do you need cutlery? What about bedding? You won't want that cabinet from the sitting room now then?'. Amazingly enough I only had to repeat myself about three times over to get them to stop, I was quite surprised.

And the idea of taking me to find the places where my exams for college are being held (since neither are in the college - or indeed are places I've ever been before) turned into 'Lets just look on Google Maps, that'll help.' Yes, of course, because I don't have the internet, spare time, or initiative of my own. Thanks. For. That.

Ok, so I'm making light of this a little here, but truth be told I'm utterly pissed off with the pair of them, and rather pathetically if I wasn't going to be relying on my dad to help me cart stuff to and from Uni when I do the moving thing, I'd be very close to telling them exactly how pissed off I am.

Finally, I had my last english lesson today, which consisted of a classroom timed essay - aka an exam, but slightly different. And I don't think it went particularly well. A literary review type thing. It wasn't an unmitigated disaster, but I covered about two thirds of what I'd actually planned to in the time we had, and I don't know that what I did get done is stong enough to stand on its own. Still, I'd be astonished if it didn't pass since I'm sure enough that what I have included is technically very good, and it's not at all beyond the realms of possibility that I'll get the 50% or so that'll see my achieve my overall distinction. And, as a bonus, I'll find out via email next week, rather than having to wait and wonder all summer until August - although work still has to be moderated. No doubt you'll all find out, either though a near suicidal blog, a moderately happy one, or one that's jumping for virtual joy!

And now, almost time to go to work and hear more strike/don't strike propoganda. Joy!

Phoenix

Current Mood:

angry

Current Music: Trimm Trabb - Blur

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18 May 2007 @ 01:11 pm

Work

Maybe it's the fact I know I'm leaving soon, but I care less and less about the place as the weeks fly past.

But in trying to sort out this 'career break' thing - so I have the security of a job over holidays from Uni (particularly the summer) rather than having to find something else, which would almost certainly mean working longer for probably about the same wage - I'm reaching annoyance point.

Ignoring the fact that the woman who is in charge of administration for this kind of thing (and anything to do with leave) in our place is a horror to deal with at the best of times, and that she managed to forget to send an email off enquiring about things on my behalf (which was my fault, naturally. Quite how I don't know, but she's never wrong), and that the head of the union in the branch didn't want to know (literally - I stopped him to ask him, and I was granted a whole massive 20 seconds of his time at the most), my main ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! feeling comes from the fact that other people have done it, the shift manager says it's possible.... But no-one in the entire building seems to know how, or seems to care about helping me to find out.

However, there is hope! The email asking questions has finally been sent, and fingers crossed there'll be a reply soon. And I've persuaded one of the union reps to fight my corner, thankfully one that actually cares about the workers rather than seeing it all as a big dodge and a chance to stir trouble up.

As I said to a friend earlier in the week - the fact that I'm leaving sooner or later, and either way will be walking away from the place at the end of August for the best part of a year means that I really don't care about making waves any more.

On the brighter side after next week, which is also my last week at college (two exams aside), I have two weeks and two days off, and unless I end up travelling anywhere (since the train runs right past the place typically enough!) I won't even have to SEE the place! And when I go back, there'll only be 11 weeks and 3 days left to go until my escape. Hooray!

Phoenix

Current Mood:

aggravated

Current Music: Cheer Up (You Miserable Fuck) - David Ford

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11 May 2007 @ 12:43 pm

Living space

That's my Uni accomodation sorted out then, or at least it will be as soon as I get my passport-photo thing done and everything filled in and sent off (including a deposit - I knew that savings would be a good idea!). The photo will happen on the way to work today, and it gives a nice excuse to wander round shops some too, even if I won't be spending anything.

Because of my contemplation over where to go, the initial type of room I wanted - that being a basic room with my own toilet/shower - had all gone, or at least in theory had all been reserved for others. That left a choice of just a bog standard bedroom, or a room with toilet/shower AND kitcheny bits....

There was only one winner! Ok, so it's a few hundred pounds a year more than what I initially set my eyes on, but unless something goes wrong when I hear about finance stuff, it's still definatley in budget. And speaking of finance stuff, the website through which it was all done has a positive message, which also says I'll be getting info through the post soon. It's quite wonderful when things seem to fall into place!

And the tyrant that usually deals with holidays/leave/suchlike at work is on holiday next week, so I can go and see someone considerably more civil about my break from the company instead!

Phoenix

Current Mood:

happy

Current Music: The Piccolo Snare - Super Furry Animals

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